Literally, I'm at my desk....exhausted....functioning off of 1 hr and 1/2 of sleep....
Here I am. 38 weeks and 5 days pregnant. I thought that I would be okay.
But I'm not. At first I thought that I was just over thinking when I will go into labor. (Which I probably am). Then I thought well I'm just sad because my family had to leave and it was EXTREMELY
Negative thoughts of trying to induce labor. I've was thinking of ways for me to go into labor that aren't safe AT ALL. I have not tried any of them & don't plan on it. But the fact that I've even thought of some of these things, let's me know my mind isn't in a great place right now.
I am officially at a breaking point. I am done with this pregnancy mentally & almost physically. I have exercised, walked, stretched, danced until it felt this babe would fall out on the floor. Of course, I've been working out the whole pregnancy so I guess my body is like whatever...but I literally couldn't stand up straight after my 1hr & 1/2 walk/dance session Tuesday. (TMI alert) I have tried the primrose oil orally & vaginally, I've sex as much as I could take, I've taken a extremely warm bath every night for the last 2 weeks. I have dilated to 2 cm, my cervix is extremely soft and I have contractions/braxton hicks (who knows) daily every hour or so if not closer than that.
I never made it this far in my last pregnancy (CJ was born early). I'm confused with my body. Anxious as all get out. Don't know what to expect. Extremely exhausted. I'm actually beginning to scare myself. I'm feeling like I just want to lay down and cry until this baby comes.
I have a Dr.'s appointment today and I am going to talk to them about all of my feelings and what options I have. What the heck is happening to me and what do they suggest. After doing some reading I think I may be coming down with a case of the "baby blues", which is a bad case of just getting plain tired of being pregnant.
I talked with my supervisor and this week may go ahead and be my last, depending on what my Dr.'s says.
If ya'll have any suggestions, prayers or have felt this way too. Please lemme know so I don't feel like I'm going crazy. Sorry to be such a debbie downer....I just needed to vent. I almost had a panick attack before I started typing this.
Hope your week is going good.
Until Next Time...
Love Jones
ugh. Unfortunatley no advice here since Deklan came five weeks early. I'm starting to be nervous if this next one will last a full 40 weeks! Sounds miserable!!! Praying for you!
ReplyDeleteThanks Brit, you will be fine this next time around :). I appreciate ur prayer.
DeleteI was so at the same point you were in my last week and I had my baby 3 days after my due date. The only thing that kept me going is thinking a complete full term baby sleeps and eats better. You can do this. I hope the baby comes soon. Just know the best place for it now is inside of you; she'll join us when she is ready.
ReplyDeleteHadn't thought about it that way...your so right. Thank u, not much longer right!
DeletePraying for you so hard! I haven't been there yet but have watched my cousin who is like a sister to me go through the same thing! She walked 5 miles with her military pack on to get herself to go into labor :-/ I wish I had some great advice or knew of something to say that would help! But since I don't I will just pray for you! Lots of love and hugs!!!!
ReplyDeleteAlexis-
hmm its been 6 days since you posted?! did you have that precious baby girl?!!
ReplyDeleteAlexis thank you for your words of encouragement! You know I love ya! No baby yet, but she will be here at the latest by Tuesday or Wednesday hopefully! They gave me an induction date! So my mind is in a much better place now!!
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